Fall Back, Spring Forward: Daylight Savings Time ENDS at Midnight

The annoying and strange tradition of having to set all your clocks ahead or back by one hour -- referred to as "Daylight Savings Time" happens again tonight.  Most people get confused by the purpose of "Fall Back." Daylight Savings Time ENDS when you set your clock back ("fall back") -- IT DOES NOT START, despite the idea you'll have daylight by doing so, oddly enough.

If you have clocks in every room, including your watches, cars, electronics, etc., this means you must get off your backdoor strange pussy to engage yourself in adjusting all this equipment backward by one hour. That's right.  That means getting up on a ladder in some cases, GETTING YOUR HANDS DIRTY touching your dusty, dirty clock that hasn't been touched for six months since the last Daylight Savings Time ordeal!  So, not only must you set the time back, but you'll have to CLEAN YOUR CLOCK as well -- unless you are a SLOB and don't care about cleanliness, which is next to Godliness the Bible sayeth!

"Why must I do this insanity!  WHY!" You cry to deaf ears, reaching to the Heavens above for guidance.

Because "Fall Back" means you'll have daylight instead of darkness in early morning hours when you're going to work (pronounced "wirk" in New York) -- BUT!  You will be in complete darkness when you leave work at 5:00 -- a time when evil criminals lurk in the shadows of night hunting for their next prey -- a trade-off that makes the whole Daylight Savings Time ordeal quite unnecessary and illogical.  Instead of getting killed in the morning, you're being killed in the evening!

A number of people have called for an end to daylight saving time, including one Petition2Congress.com campaign:

“Please stop the messing with our schedules. It’s an antiquated practice that only aggravates people,” the petition read.